Earlier this week, I was sketching out topics and notes for the next several weeks of Lunchbox Leadership. Before I locked anything in, I decided to ask one of my favorite “content advisors” for help—my daughter.
I said, “If you could pick the topic for this week, what would you want me to focus on?”
Without any hesitation, she said, “Can you focus on starting conversations? I always feel awkward starting conversations and feeling confident that I’ll know what to say.”
I loved that answer. It was honest, practical, and exactly where a lot of kids—and plenty of adults—live. So we built the week’s notes around it. As comments and messages started coming in on social media, I shared some of them with her. It was fun watching her realize that what she wrestles with is something many others wrestle with too, and that her question was serving people beyond our house.
A night or two later, I came home and told her I wanted to talk for a minute. I said something like, “You should be proud of yourself for everything you’ve stepped into this year—the activities you’ve tried, the ways you’ve shown up, the things you’ve pushed through.”
Her response left me speechless for a moment.
With a boldness I hadn’t heard from her before, she said, “I am proud of myself.”
I paused, just taking that in.
Then she went on to explain what she meant—how she’d noticed her own growth, where she’d chosen courage, and how this year felt different than previous ones. That one small shift in how I spoke to her led to one of the most heartfelt conversations we’ve had in a long time. Instead of me just pouring encouragement into her, she was learning to recognize and say it for herself.
In that moment, I realized: I had done something different on purpose—and it changed the conversation.
One Key Principle From God’s Word
All week, our lunchbox notes have been circling one big idea: the way we use our words shapes the people around us—and the person we’re becoming. We’ve talked about starting conversations, speaking up with courage, listening well, and using our voices to encourage others.
Verses like 1 Timothy 4:12 and Proverbs 16:24 remind us that our words can set an example and bring strength:
- “Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation…”
- “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”
That applies to how we talk to others, but it also touches how we talk to ourselves. At times, we can be our own worst critics—downplaying growth, rehearsing mistakes, and talking ourselves out of courage. The lunchbox theme this week invites us to do something different: to notice where God is helping us grow and to agree with that truth instead of only repeating our doubts.
When my daughter said, “I am proud of myself,” she was recognizing real growth and saying it out loud. That kind of honest, God‑aware self‑talk strengthens our confidence to step into conversations, relationships, and opportunities with a clearer sense of how God is already at work in us.
Honest Reflections From a Dad’s Heart
That short exchange with my daughter taught me a few things.
First, asking instead of assuming matters. When I invited her to help pick this week’s topic, I discovered a real area where she wanted to grow. It reminded me that leadership at home starts with listening, not just deciding.
Second, how we phrase encouragement can change the response. I’ve said “I’m proud of you” many times, but “You should be proud of yourself” opened a different door. It invited her to stand in the growth God has been working in her, not just hear about it from me.
Finally, helping our kids find their voice begins in everyday conversations. Practicing honest, encouraging words at home—around the table, in the car, at bedtime—gives them a safe place to learn how to speak up, both with others and within their own hearts.
One Simple Step for This Week
To build hearts, homes, and leaders where you are, try this:
Don’t just say, “I’m proud of you”—help someone see why they can be grateful for how God is growing them.
- Think of one child, friend, or teammate who has taken real steps forward this year—at school, at work, in their character, or in their courage.
- Tell them specifically what you see: “You should be proud of yourself for the way you’ve…” and name the effort, growth, or faithfulness you’ve noticed.
- After you share, ask a simple follow‑up: “What are you most thankful for in how you’ve grown lately?”
- Listen, and let the conversation run. If it fits, gently connect their growth back to God’s help and care.
We can’t control every situation our kids or teammates walk into—awkward conversations, new environments, challenging opportunities. But we can shape the conversations that happen around our tables and in our living rooms. When we listen, speak life, and invite people to see the growth God is working in them, we help them find a steady, God‑centered voice they can carry into every room they enter.
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