Author: John DeFere

  • Sowing Prayer, Reaping Joy: School Play Win!

    Sowing Prayer, Reaping Joy: School Play Win!

    My youngest daughter loves to sing. She sings in the car, in the kitchen, and down the hallway like it’s her personal stage. But when the school announced auditions for a play, her excitement came with a wince.

    At her last school, she had her heart set on a speaking or singing part and was instead assigned the role of a dog—a character that didn’t say or sing anything at all. She did her best with it, but inside she was crushed. So when she told me about this new audition, she said, “Dad, I don’t want to be a dog again,” and I could hear the doubt underneath the joke.

    As we drove to her next sports activity, she poured out her heart about it. She wanted a real singing role, but she was unsure anything would be different this time. I asked her, “Have you prayed about it yet?” She paused, then her face lit up. Right there in the car, she prayed—simple, honest, and specific.

    When she finished, I told her, “Do your best, and let God do the rest.” That was it. No big speech. Just a reminder that she could bring her desire to God, then be faithful with what she could control.

    At the end of the week, I walked through the door after work and heard her yell, “Daddy!” She ran, jumped into my arms, and said, “I got the singing part!” Within minutes she was performing for the whole family. Watching her siblings cheer and laugh and clap, I realized we weren’t just celebrating a part in a play—we were celebrating a moment where believing, prayer, and courage came together.

    One Key Principle From God’s Word

    The verse that rises to the surface with this story is John 14:14: “If you ask me for anything in my name, I will do it.” Learning this as a child is a powerful seed—one that can develop a deep confidence that God hears and responds.

    For a child, that might start with a role in a school play. For an adult, it might be wisdom for a decision, strength for a hard day, or grace for a strained relationship.

    With my daughter, I couldn’t promise her the role. What I could do was help her learn to ask, to trust, and to give her best. As she prayed in the car, she wasn’t repeating a script; she was learning that she can talk to God about what matters to her and believe that He hears and answers in the way that is best.

    And when the answer was “yes” and the singing part came, the joy didn’t just stay with her. It spread through our whole house. That’s the way these seeds often work: a simple act of asking and believing can end up strengthening an entire family’s beleiving.

    Honest Reflections From a Parent’s Heart

    This little story pressed on a few things in me:

    • Disappointment can make us cautious about believing again. My daughter’s reluctance to think this new opportunity could be different sounded a lot like the voice I sometimes carry into new seasons or new risks. Past “dog roles” can shape our expectations if we’re not careful.
    • Kids learn how to handle desire and delay by watching us. When our children (or team members) bring us something they deeply want, they’re not just asking for advice; they’re watching how we respond to their longings, their letdowns, and their prayers. Our words and posture quietly form how they will approach God and challenges in the future.
    • Prayer often becomes the turning point, not the last option. That brief prayer in the car didn’t control the outcome, but it reshaped the way we both walked into the week. It shifted us from carrying quiet doubt alone to actively bringing the situation to God and trusting Him with what we couldn’t manage.

    Pressure, disappointment, and waiting don’t generate our character; they speed up how it develops and shows. As parents and leaders, we’re always sowing something into those spaces—either quiet resignation or a living, active trust that God hears and moves.

    One Simple Step for This Week

    To build hearts, homes, and leaders where you are, try this:

    When someone you love (or lead) shares a desire or fear, pause and plant one intentional seed of asking and believing.

    1. Name what you hear.
      • “It sounds like you really want this.”
      • “You’re excited, but you’re also nervous because of what happened last time.”
    2. Turn it toward God together.
      • “Have we prayed about this yet?”
      • “Let’s ask God for help and favor right now.”
    3. Encourage faithful action, not control.
      • “Do your best, and let God handle what you can’t.”
      • “Our part is to be faithful; God’s part is the result.”
    4. Celebrate the outcome—whatever it looks like.
      • If the answer is “yes,” rejoice and thank God together.
      • If the answer is “not this time,” sit in it with them, remind them that God still hears, and keep sowing courage and confidence to ask again.

    You and I can’t control casting decisions, promotions, or outcomes. But with God’s help, we can choose what we sow into those moments: weariness or trust, pulling back or praying and believing again. Over time, those small, repeated choices don’t just influence circumstances; they form the kind of hearts, homes, and leaders who know how to ask, how to act, and how to rest in the God who hears.

  • Small Seeds, Big Impact

    Small Seeds, Big Impact

    Some of the most important leadership moments never make a stage, a headline, or a social post. They happen in quiet corners, over dinner tables, in one‑on‑one conversations—small choices, gentle words, simple acts of courage that feel like “no big deal” in the moment.

    One Dinner, One Conversation

    Several years ago, my wife and I were at a dinner where each table had its own host. The young lady assigned to our table had never done this before. She was clearly nervous—unsure of the flow, worried about making mistakes, and visibly lost in her new role.

    At one point, I leaned over and quietly told her, “Just follow my lead. I’ll walk you through it.” It wasn’t a grand speech. It was simple—helping her know what was coming next, giving her small cues, and offering encouragement as we went. As the meal went on, it was like watching a light come on inside her. Her voice grew steadier, her smile more natural, her movements more confident. By the end of the evening, she no longer needed my help. She had found her footing.

    For me, it felt like just another day—one small moment of noticing someone who was struggling and choosing to step in. I didn’t think much about it afterward.

    Years later, a letter showed up in the mail from another country. It was from that same young lady. She wanted to tell me how much that evening meant to her—that my quiet help had given her confidence when she felt completely out of her depth. What she didn’t know was that when her letter reached me, I was the one who needed encouragement. Her words arrived like a reminder from God: those small seeds you plant are not forgotten.

    The Principle: Faithful in the Small Things

    • Quiet, unseen choices shape our character.
    • Encouraging one person at a time matters.
    • Showing up steady, not just in bursts, changes cultures over time.
    • Noticing and naming the good in others plants seeds that keep bearing fruit.
    • God delights in using “small things” to generate a much bigger impact than we can see in the moment.

    In other words, little things are not little when God is in them.

    Honest Reflections

    Living this out pushes against a few pressures many of us feel:

    • The pressure to be impressive. It’s easy to think leadership only “counts” when it’s big—big platforms, big numbers, big results. But some of the most powerful leadership you will ever offer will happen one person, one conversation, one quiet act at a time.
    • The temptation to rush past people. That night at dinner, it would have been easy to focus only on the event and ignore the nervous host. In everyday life, it looks like rushing past the coworker who’s struggling, the child who’s unsure, or the volunteer who’s new. Slowing down to notice and help often feels small—but to them, it may be the turning point.
    • The feeling that “this won’t really matter.” A short note, a quick text, a few minutes of undistracted attention can feel insignificant compared to everything else on your plate. Yet those are often the very moments people remember years later.

    Do we believe that God can take our small, everyday acts of obedience and grow them into something far beyond what we see?

    A Simple Step for This Week

    To build this into your life, try this:

    Ask God to show you one person this week who feels “lost at the table,” and take one small, specific step to encourage them.

    • At home, that might be a child who is new to an activity, a spouse stepping into a fresh responsibility, or a sibling who feels out of place.
    • At work, it might be a new hire, a teammate learning a different role, or someone who just seems unsure and quiet in meetings.
    • In your church or community, it might be a volunteer who is serving for the first time or someone standing alone on the edges.

    Offer one simple act:

    • A quiet “follow my lead, I’ll walk you through it.”
    • A specific word of encouragement about what you see in them.
    • A small, practical gesture that makes their load lighter.

    Then entrust the impact to God. You may never see the full story—but He does. And who knows? One day, the “small seed” you planted in someone else’s life may come back as exactly the encouragement you need, right on time.

  • You Can’t Outgive God

    You Can’t Outgive God

    Last week, the theme running through our home and our Lunchbox Leadership notes was this: you can’t outgive God. Not just with money, but with time, energy, attention, and all the quiet ways we pour ourselves out for the people we love and lead. This isn’t about trying to impress God; it’s about believing that He has already moved in Christ and that His supply is greater than any demand we face.

    A Week That Felt Like Too Much

    My oldest daughter just started a program that helps young adults become job‑ready. On paper, that alone is a big change. But the same week she also had a high school band concert, a fun activity with friends, and an athletic event she needed to attend. As the schedule filled up, so did her stress. By the time we listed everything, she was getting frazzled by “all the things” and wondering how it would all work.

    In that moment, I reminded her of something we’ve been talking about for a while: be a cheerful giver, and let God work out the details. Instead of telling her to drop everything or just “push through,” we grabbed a pen and began to map it out—rides, times, who needed to be where, and when.

    By the end of the weekend, it was all on paper. What had felt impossible actually turned into a very manageable week. The commitments didn’t disappear, but the panic did. She chose to give her time and effort with a willing heart, and we trusted God to supply wisdom, peace, and the right connections to make it all fit.

    That little snapshot is what “you can’t outgive God” looks like in real life—not a dramatic miracle, but a Father meeting us in the details as we choose to show up with a cheerful heart.

    Honest Reflections

    Living this principle touches some deep places:

    • Giving feels risky when you already feel stretched. It can feel safer to pull back, say no to everything, or live in constant complaint mode. But often, the real shift comes when we ask, “Lord, how do You want me to give in this season—and how will You supply what I need?”
    • Generosity is more than money. In our story, the “giving” was time, focus, and a willing attitude. For you, it might be patience with a coworker, an extra conversation with a child, or serving in your church when you’re tired. God sees those acts of giving and they matter to Him.
    • We don’t have to be the endless source. Part of my daughter’s stress (and mine) came from feeling like everything depended on us. Remembering that God is the source shifts the weight. We still plan, communicate, and do our part, but we stop acting like we are holding the universe together.

    A Simple Step To Build This In

    Pick one area that feels crowded or overwhelming and ask, “What does cheerful giving look like here?” Then invite God into the details.

    • If it’s your family schedule, sit down, write it out, and decide together: Where will we give our time? What needs to stay? What can go? Ask God for peace and clarity as you choose.
    • If it’s your work life, look at your week and ask: Where can I give encouragement, help, or recognition—even when I feel busy?
    • If you are mentally overwhelmed, offer God the first and best of your attention—five quiet minutes to read, pray, or listen—and believe that He can multiply the rest of your day.

    You don’t have to give everything to everyone. But as you choose to be a cheerful giver in the place God is highlighting, believe this: you cannot outgive Him. He knows how to take your simple “yes,” your limited time, and your tired heart, and turn it into something that builds hearts, homes, and leaders.

  • Lunchbox Leadership: Believing to Build Hearts, Homes, and Leaders

    Lunchbox Leadership: Believing to Build Hearts, Homes, and Leaders

    Hi, I’m John—a husband, dad of four, and Bible believer who is still learning, stumbling, and growing right in the middle of real life. As a parent and a leader, there have been many days when I’ve looked at the people I love and thought, “I wish I could do more than I’m doing right now.”​

    In 2023, one of those days led me to start writing little notes and slipping them into my kids’ lunchboxes. My oldest was walking through a hard season in middle school, and as I watched her struggle, I quietly carried the weight that I was failing her—that I wasn’t helping her succeed or see who she truly is. When I didn’t know what else to do, I did what I usually do: I went to God for guidance.​

    As a parent, I knew my children needed more than pep talks; they needed to see who they are in Christ and be encouraged to believe it. The best way I knew to do that was to anchor them in God’s Word and to echo those truths with short, simple quotes from people who had walked through life and left wisdom behind. So, one morning, I wrote a brief note—a verse, a thought, a line of encouragement—and tucked it into a lunchbox. Then another. And another.​

    What started as something small and private began to overflow. My kids would share their notes at lunch with classmates—kids who wished someone would write something like that for them. Teachers started asking to read the notes and, at times, even shared them with the whole class. At school events, staff members would pull me aside just to say how much they appreciated those little slips of paper and the encouragement they carried. That’s where Lunchbox Leadership was born: not in a strategy meeting, but in ordinary moments, with God quietly working through ink and paper to reach hearts.​

    Over time, I sensed a responsibility—not just to keep this within our four walls, but to share these notes more widely. For the past several months, I’ve been posting Lunchbox Leadership notes on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook, offering short, bite-sized encouragement to anyone who might need it. Now this blog is the next step: a weekly space to slow down, tell the stories behind the notes, and walk together in believing.​

    Who This Blog Is For

    This blog is for anyone who has ever looked at the people they love or lead and felt that tug to do more, to be more intentional, to build something that will last. It’s for:

    • Parents and caregivers who long to raise strong, grounded children and to remind them who they are in Christ, even on the hard days when emotions are big and answers feel small.​
    • Believers who want a relationship with their heavenly Father that is real, vital, and present in the ordinary routines of life—not just on Sundays or in crisis moments.
    • Those who don’t yet know God but feel a quiet pull to search, to ask questions, and to discover who He really is through simple stories, Scripture, and honest reflection.​
    • Leaders in the workplace who carry responsibility for teams and culture and are looking for practical, compassionate, and courageous ways to lead from a place of believing, not fear.​

    If any part of that sounds like you, you are welcome here.

    What You Can Expect Each Week

    Each week, this space will offer:

    • One real story from life—often from parenting, sometimes from work, sometimes from the quiet places in between.
    • One key principle drawn from God’s Word and reflected in the themes behind that week’s lunchbox notes.​
    • A few honest reflections and a simple step you can take to build hearts, homes, and leaders right where you are.

    Lunchbox Leadership was never just about paper notes; it has always been about believing—believing what God has already accomplished in Jesus Christ, believing what He says about us, and believing that He can use ordinary moments to shape extraordinary futures. If you’re ready to walk that journey, one week at a time, you’re in the right place.